Since the outbreak of the AIDS pandemic in Malawi (the first case was reported in 1985) the different churches have embarked on a remarkable number of activities in the field of awareness programs and home based care programs, not to mention the treatment of AIDS patients in hospitals. But AIDS is not only a social and medical problem. For Christians it is a challenge to their faith. Under the coordination of Kachere Institute, the research wing of the department of Theology and Religious Studies at University of Malawi, an ecumenical group got together to deliberate different approaches and finally decided to write this following text that looks at the issue from the central message of the gospel.

In Malawi the AIDS crisis has reached the state of a catastrophe. Recent figures reveal that 1.2 million Malawians are infected by the HIV virus, i.e., 12% of the sexually active population, 30% in urban and 10% in the rural areas. These figures only camouflage the human tragedy that is expressed by them: the suffering of the sick, the grief of the bereaved and the forlornness of the orphans. Despite many programmes of awareness, experts involved admit "that the battle is lost" and that nobody knows how to address the problem.

Although AIDS is a worldwide phenomenon, the African continent carries the heaviest burden. Meanwhile the Malawian society has developed into a "culture of death" forcing people to attend funerals as their regular "customs".

This text is a Christian meditation on AIDS, or more specifically, on the God of love and compassion. It was written in order to correct some obvious shortfalls in the Christian understanding of suffering and in order to deepen and to strengthen our faith.

Among many Malawians the approach towards AIDS is rather ambiguous. Although much is done in hospitals in order to treat AIDS patients, although church groups, NGO's and Government bodies embark on the theme of AIDS, a deeper understanding of AIDS as a tragic human disease and of the consequences involved are not shared by the majority of the population.

Church ministers report that during funerals - even if everybody knows that the deceased person has died of AIDS - no one dares to mention it. This experience reflects the common tendency in Malawi "not to talk about AIDS".

It is high time, we unveiled the truth and become honest in the language we use to talk about "the disease" in families, with friends in public and in church. Those in public life carry a special responsibility: they have to react to the often-deplored abyss between words and deeds among public players that has created an atmosphere of double standards and hypocrisy.

In Malawi the majority of citizens acknowledge the reality of God and his active presence in the world. There is a general understanding that whatever happens in personal, political and social life reflects the will of God.

Against this background, it is astonishing to apprehend that fatalism has gripped so many of us. Even in popular songs one can hear the words "Nobody can change it" as if the will of God would follow a stiff and blind mechanism.

Another understanding sees the HIV infection as the direct consequence of God's interference with the world. On an individual level it is considered to be a punishment for personal sin, on a social level it is seen as an affliction that our society deserves because it has turned away from God, tradition, and customs.

As AIDS (in the majority of cases) is a sexually transmitted disease, the logic of explanation goes as follows: AIDS is the fulfilment of a biblical prophecy. Referring to Paul's letter to the

Romans 1:24-32, some Christians consider people who are HIV infected as sinners. Those practising such things are "worthy of death". They think that "AIDS is the punishment for sin, its consequence is death. Those who die duly deserve it."

This way of interpreting the AIDS scourge neither reflects the spirit nor the intention of the gospel. It is a one-sided and false interpretation of the bible that leads to generalisations. It reflects more the human desire to find an explication for the non-explicable rather than to understand the biblical revelation of the loving God and of suffering and disease.

Moreover, it is a simple means of projecting the problem on to the "sinners" finding a self-excuse for those not infected. It implies a dangerous understanding of church membership, as if the righteous ones were automatically free of diseases whereas HIV-infected persons would not deserve to be in full membership with the church.

While not denying that the AIDS infection can be due to sinful behaviour, this must not lead to a legalistic and moralistic approach towards the disease. As most of our sermons in the churches are addressed to those we consider not to be infected, we tend to forget that any form of condemnation is the wrong message for HIV-infected persons and creates a stigmatisation against the victims.

Against these shortfalls, we humbly acknowledge the faith and the trust in God of those who suffer from this deadly disease. Many of them confirm with their own life that God has not abandoned them. Addressing the AIDS problem in our society and church, further questions and problems arise, like the concept of God and the church as people of God, or the appropriate understanding of suffering and death.

One general problem is the understanding of sexuality. Unfortunately, within Malawian society and Malawian Christianity, human sexuality is often considered as something of inferior value. People have not internalised the fact that sexuality is a God-given source of joy and fulfilment though, at the same time, it is vulnerable to abuse and sin as any other domain of human experience.

God created human beings in his own image. As he is the creator and we are his creation, we do not share his divine attributes. Being mortal and being vulnerable belongs to our human nature. Life without sickness and death is not human life.

It is a false interpretation of selected bible verses, to consider each disease and every death as God's punishment. When Jesus started his public mission he declared that the Kingdom of the Heavens has drawn near. Healing of the sick and addressing the gospel message to the "lost sheep" (sinners, tax collectors, outcasts of the Jewish society, etc.) were Jesus' prime activities.

Far from explaining personal suffering and misery as the result of personal or communal sins (cf. Luke 13: 1-9, the example of the

eighteen killed by a fallen tower) he wanted human beings to be healed and to be in good physical shape. Jesus' healing is not only a restoration of the human condition. It is, at the same time, an anticipation of the Kingdom of God.

Whenever we experience full health, we thankfully acknowledge God's nearness. But almost paradoxically we believe that Christ is present in each human person who suffers and that through his suffering and death we are redeemed.

Is there a single biblical report where Jesus wanted anybody to suffer? He, who is the revelation of God's will, prefers to suffer for others rather than to punish them. On the cross he forgives those who crucified him. Exposed to sickness and death, Christians are challenged to meditate on the

mystery of life. Especially during periods of affliction, Christ is near. With us, the suffering people of God, he mourns with the mourners, he suffers with the suffering, he dies with the dying.

He is with us on our way from sickness to health, from death of life. Against this background, one can rightly maintain that Christ suffers with those who have AIDS.

He himself in his wounds carries the wounds of this world and suffers in solidarity with those who are infected by this deadly disease. In him we all participate in the great mystery of the transition (passah) from death to life. This is why - from a Christian perspective - each experience of sorrow, disease and suffering can be aligned towards the new life of the Risen Christ.

Christ's life and Christ's message is a message of love, forgiveness and reconciliation. It is one of Jesus' most touching answers when he replied to Peter's inquiry about our readiness to forgive, "I tell you not seven times, but seventy seven times!" (Matthew 18: 22)

Far from condemning people, Jesus introduces God in the parable of the prodigal son as the merciful father (Luke 15:11-32). With open arms he welcomes the lost son. He slaughters the fattened calf and prepares a feast of welcome. How could this father wish his sons and daughters to be punished with a cruel and deadly disease like AIDS?

Jesus, the incarnate son of God encourages us to lift up our eyes and to look forward to the embracing arms of the merciful father. He himself died on the cross. Even in the darkest hour of his life he did not lose confidence and trust in his father. His death on the cross and his open arms are a symbol of the trust that we can have in the face of the mystery of death.

AIDS is a terminal disease. Both modem and traditional medicine cannot provide remedy that leads to full convalescence. There is no hope for cure. It is a challenge for all of us to face this reality, especially for those who undergo the phase of denial that is typical for human beings on their last mile of life. Preparation for death is an integral part of pastoral counselling. But the Christian faith does not provide a solution to the mystery of suffering and death.

We do not know why innocent children die, why people are killed and why others die from unknown and non-curable diseases. Rather than not accepting these deeper dimensions of our life, we are encouraged to embrace this "dark side" of our human condition.

Death and suffering belong to our finite (and not eternal) life. But we know for sure: The father of Jesus Christ is not a God of revenge and punishment, but a God of love and forgiveness. Even in our darkest hours of distress and suffering, he opens his arms and whispers, "I am with you. Trust in me!"

The Bible is a book of life, full of human experiences - and sometimes not easy to understand. Those passages that apparently stress a violent and punishing God have to be read and interpreted against this deeper revelation of God as the loving Father. A loving father does not condemn. God cannot contradict himself.

We know that in a pure, literal understanding of some isolated bible verses one might come up with a different opinion. We are encouraged to read the bible

together and to meditate on Gods love and mercy. This is the centre of Christ's life, of Christ's death and of Christ's teaching. The current AIDS crisis is a dark chapter in the history of humankind, especially on the continent of Africa. But AIDS is not the first epidemic and the first affliction of humankind.

We encourage all those who doubt in the love of the Christian God to meditate on Christ's life and death. He who healed everybody and announced the Kingdom of God by healing people died a mysterious death on the cross. His death did not solve the mystery of suffering, but looking at him at the cross we can learn that even in the most lonely and desperate life situations we can trust in the God of love and mercy.

With regard to the cruel experience of AIDS in our midst, some Christians become apathetic or fatalistic, others feel tempted to act out their insecurity, their anger and their despair towards those who are infected. Sometimes the issue is used to create a two-class Christianity, of the righteous non-infected and the condemned infected.

Conversion is an internal matter between God and the individual and there are no criteria to judge anybody from outside. This attempt of creating a "church of the pure" is a way of self-excuse and of pointing with fingers to those who might be morally weaker.

HIV-infected persons do not want to be condemned; they are vulnerable to these kinds of social and religious "apartheid". God alone knows the heart of human beings. Those who got infected by the deadly disease due to careless behaviour should finally accept their responsibility and walk the last mile of their life reconciled with God.

Non-infected Christians have no right of moral superiority. They can be even more guilty in their hearts and lives than those who by any means of transmission whatever are HIV infected.

At the end of the parable of the prodigal son, it is obviously the righteous elder son who turns into the lost son. This is a severe warning to all those who want to limit God's love to their own moral standards.

Together we are the church, the people of God. We all are members, the healthy and the sick, the good and the wicked. It is not up to us to separate the weeds from the wheat, the infected from the non-infected.

Together we are on our way to search the mysterious God in the mysteries of our life, especially in the dark side of sickness and death. In Christ we have a brother who remains on our side. We find him among the hungry and the thirsty, the naked and the strangers.

We encounter him among the sick, the weak and the HIV-infected Malawians of today when he says: "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me."